Hello 2015.....

So 2014 was a bit of a mixed bag it most certainly had it's ups & downs but one thing is for sure I've moved in to 2015 with a far more level headed & positive attitude. If 2014 has taught me anything it's to be thankful & grateful for what you have & I'm not talking about makeup & clothes. I mean the things that really matter like the people you love. The two biggest highlights of my year have to be moving house & finding out we are having a baby. Two major life changing things that couldn't have come at a better time & made us anymore happy than we are. We also found out on Christmas eve that we are having a baby boy, We have chosen his name & now that Christmas is out the way we can start buying & prepping ready for him to arrive, he's due May 12th 2015 but if he makes an appearance on that day is another thing completely. We are both so excited for him that I honestly feel like I could burst, I feel like we've moved on from being just a couple to actually being a little family which makes me so happy, to finally have something to call ours & something to turn our house in to a home. Speaking of which, it's an absolute godsend to be living in a house that isn't full of damp & isn't crumbling down! We actually have a garden, a beautifully big kitchen & three lovely bedrooms. I no longer feel cramped for space & feel like every day is a battle to see which chunk of wallpaper is going to fall off next. Our new home is so peaceful & perfect as well as being warm & cosy, it's the perfect place for our little family to grow & flourish. It doesn't need a mass amount of work but slowly we are moving through each room, upgrading furniture & putting our own stamp on things.

I have made new years resolutions this year & one of them is to defiantly blog more, I can see myself using this little basic blog to grow & escape each evening when I'm up to my eyeballs in dirty nappies. I feel like as I've changed as a person where life isn't all about  makeup, I can transition in sharing more lifestyle posts & Baby updates. The other aren't quite as interesting as "try more lipstick shades" or "make more cookie for everyone in work" but rather to never take anything for granted & to appreciate each day as it comes. 

Weekly Round Up.....

So nothing too eventful this week the weather has been SO up & down I felt too scared to go out in shorts incase I looked like a nutter walking in the rain with hot pants on. I've very much lazed around, ate good food, enjoyed date night with Martyn & generally just had a nice uneventful week. I have family moving over from America this coming week so I'm filled with butterflies & excitement! I can foresee lots of summertime adventures, ice cream, pamper parties, date nights, shopping trips & tipsey bbqs! I havent seen my cousin & her wonderful husband since Christmas 2012 so as you can imagine I'm on cloud 9! She's like more of a sister than a cousin & has been there for me when I'm in the foulest mood & need cheering up....plus I think she's one of the handful of people that understand my make-up & pinterest obsession so she's a true star in my eyes! 

Outfit styling 001

There's something extremely chic, flattering & stylish about a basic white tee paired with denim....any sort of denim but especially slashed shorts in the summer months. Topped off with a bright matte lip, cute ankle boots & an overly large & obnoxious statement necklace, this is my go to outfit. That never fails to impress & can be dressed up or down & made seasonally appropriate. With payday on the horizon I can sense a Topshop splurge is imminent especially now that the sun has finally decided to make an appearance here in Wales. Time to tan my milk bottle skin so I can flash the pins all summer.

Topshop wants......

Haydon ripped jeans, Folk Panel Shirt, Nail polish in Collegiate, Spot Print Shirt, Ripple Skinny Strap Heels  , Double Strap Sandals, Matte Nail polish in Tabasco Trouble & Nail polish in Buff 

So I think it's fair to say Topshop is by far my favourite shop & I haven't posted a "want" list for a while. I can't think of anything more visually pleasing that a collection of gorgeous items from Topshop that I can't wait to get my mitts on! Granted none of these pieces go together, but I have a wardrobe full of perfect items to accompany them. 

• At my last count I own five...yes FIVE pairs of Topshop jeans, mainly from the Jamie range but these ripped Haydon jeans and the bomb! I can see them now styled with a ribbed crop top or a loose fitted deep white vneck. There something about ripped jeans & a basic tee that I just adore! 
• Moving on to the folk print panel shirt, it's so silky & beautiful & think this is such a versatile piece, it can be worn in summer or winter. I love the blue pattern almost reminding me of a collection of china plates my Nan has! I think style with skinny black jeans or even if I dare white (what am I thinking?!) jeans. 
• Next this little boxy polkadot shirt, I love the little crop and love how boxy it is, I do have a confession to make I already have it in black but I'm desperate to bump up my monochrome range...monochrome in patterns that is. 
• A classic strappy black sandals....who doesn't need a variation of this in their wardrobe?! You find me who doesn't need it & I'll convince them otherwise! It's so classic & the fact it has three straps add that little something to a normal plain sandal. I love them & at £55 they have stole my heart!
• Birkenstocks....birkenstock....birkenstocks. None definitely the more I say I still can't get used to it. I thought these were hideous when I first saw them & granted they ARE hideous but there's something about them that I like, I don't know if the simplicity (I'm a sucker for the basic) or if it's just how darn comfortable they are! Also H&M are doing a fantastic little spin on them at the mo as are New Look.
• Finally Topshop Nail polish....need I say anymore really? Fantastic quality, excellent range of colours & very durable. Granted it won't replace my love for China Glaze but it does come close!

It's ok to not be ok.....

Firstly I want to start this post by saying exactly with what it's titled, it's ok not to be ok. Don't read this post if you're looking for some guide to depression & bereavement because I don't have the answers that you crave & nor does anyone. The only one that can guide you through your loss or your depression is you, other can help & encourage but fundamentally you're the only one that can sort out this situation. 

As someone who has battled depression for me it was never just a case of having depression taking a few pills & then feeling great, it was the cold bitterness that would always linger that was my problem & still is my problem. Letting go is the hardest & trying to remember someone without feeling angry & hateful is even harder & I'm still getting there! But & it's a big BUT I am getting there. I have days when life is horrid & I hate everyone & the moment I get home I break down & my fake smile crumbles away BUT every isn't like that, my resentment is starting to ease, my hate gets less each day & my bitterness is still very much an on going battle. 

This isn't a blog post telling you life is amazing & great because it isn't, life is hard & comes with lots of bullshit. But life is beautiful. Life is short & life is a battle & you do either sink or swim.....I am very much treading water but it's getting easier & especially so when Martyn throws a rope & pulls me that bit closer. If losing my Dad was a "life lesson" then it's taught me that life is far too short to be wasted, so Carpe Diem & all that bollocks & get yourself out there! Dress up in your favourite clothes, buy that gorgeous item on your wish list, go on silly adventures, get that tattoo, dye your hair that crazy color & do what makes YOU happy. It's hard being miserable all the time & it's even harder faking being happy, but somewhere deep down you know what will make you crack a smile, even if it's just a small one. It's ok to feel bitter & still find something to smile about, I do it on a daily basis, things will start to brighten up, it won't happen overnight but it WILL happen! 

I can only draw on my experiences & how I feel but if you're like me no amount of depression & bereavement pamphlets will help, so do some soul searching & cry! & you will find something to smile about again.....that I can promise!